A couple of the guys that I lived with at university had their birthdays this week. One on Tuesday and one today. My girlfriend’s is coming up next month. We’re missing out on things like weddings, festivals, and holidays as well.

My girlfriend wants people to draw portraits of our guinea pigs for her birthday. She actually wanted that before the shops shut. It’s just lucky that she asked for something that remains possible during lockdown. We’ll probably throw a piggle party and let our 3 little rodent children run round the living room to scent mark the occassion.

Limits are good for creative thinking. When I lived with this week’s birthday boys, we did a secret Santa at Christmas and set a £5 pound limit. I received a brightly coloured tribal carving that’s still on display in my parents house approaching 10 years later. 

I put together a nude calendar to give as my gift. Tasteful photographs of myself posing behind strategically placed items in my bedroom. I think it might be the best gift I’ve ever given.